Katrina and Bullseye at the park for a picnic!
Well it has been awhile since a real post, but today I shall change that!
Today started off ok, lil BBB has been sick with a fever the last couple of days, and that is always fun. I had a doc. apponiment this morning, and came home to just kinda chill. The weather wed. was amazing, and I was child/wife free for nye the entire day! So I made sure to take full advantage of it and sit on my butt using the computer. Ya, I was kinda dissaponement in myself for that choice and vowed I would bike the next nice day! That brings us back to today, where we find our hero sitting on his computer bored and feeling a bit down. I though about biking but the idea of exercise sounded like something I wished not to do. On the suggestion though of my wife I decided that I couldn’t waste the day, and I would go bike riding!
I loaded up my little travel bag on my bike:Fiber one bar, wallet, and phone. I filled up my water, which surprisingly I don’t do very much. I often prefer to workout with out water, but to be honest I don’t know why. I had an idea in my head, a CRAZY idea, an idea so wickedly insane that it sent a chill down my spine. The “M”, yes the worlds largest M resides in Platteville and as I have mentioned before a long term goal from last year was to bike out to it. It is not an easy ride for someone like me (though many might find it easy for them). It starts off hilly and ends with an uphill climb! It is about 6.5-7 miles from my house, and to be honest I thought I would go a little ways then turn back to go home.
I started going and getting to mound view park which I kinda thought of as “base camp” was easy. I had done that ride many times and knew what to expect. When I arrived though, I looked at the road I needed to take for the “M”, and noticed it was getting closer. What was going on? How can roads move?!? I realized that I started going towards it! I soon found myself flying down a hill trying to gain enough speed to make it over the next precipice! When i arrived at that top of the first hill I breathed a sigh of relief, it looked nice and flat for awhile. NOPE, when I turned a corner I saw them. Big Bad Biker Eating Hills, or BBBEH’s for short. The last ones were the worst, and I don’t mean because I was tired, they were just brutal! I actually had to stop at the top of one because my heart rate was in the 170’s(near max), and was finding myself only going 4mph up those hills. Yes I could have hopped off and walked, but I wanted to push on. When I arrived at the “M” I felt a wave of pride and power wash over me. I DID it, I accomplished what a few weeks ago I didn’t think I could do.
At this point my “bright sunny day” became dark rain clouds, and I knew it was time to leave! One thing I forgot to mention was the strong winds! On the way to the M, for the most part it was a tail wind which is great, but on the way home it became a head wind. You would think it wouldn’t make much of a difference, but it really does! One point a gust almost knocked me over!
I soon made it home, and iced my aching knees. I feel amazing, and I know now that limits can be pushed. Limits SHOULD be pushed!
Also I learned that you need to sit properly on the seat, with your seat bones resting on the wide part of the saddle. Once I did that it made the ride SO much nicer.
Just wanted to update since I haven’t done so in a while, though not much to say to be honest. The weather has been lousy and haven’t been able to bike ride at all. I am having a hard time with getting myself to go to the gym; I think it is because I did get out bike riding and enjoyed the change of pace. Suppose to be some nicer weather next week though so I am really hoping I can get out on Katrina!
Weight loss wise I have defently seen a larger slow down, but I contribute that to 1. having already lost so much weight 2.Going to the gym less 3. The weather…The weather has me stuck in doors when I want to go outside and play!
Like I said, not much of an update but I am still here.
I can’t believe how long it has been since my mother passed away, yet it still stings like it happened yesterday. I think about the choices she made in life, how she let the weight start and in the end it killed her. At #430+ I won’t lie, I often thought of suicide because it seemed like a better option than to be bed ridden till I died like my mother had been. I once swore that if I got above 400 I would in fact kill myself, but as you can tell VIA the fact I am writing this, I didn’t follow through. I also want to let people who may be feeling like I was to not give up hope! I am not going to sugar coat it, loosing weight is not for the weak. It is tough, hard, and at times almost unbearable, that said it is the most amazing thing you can do for yourself. I tied my shoe today, I drove a car without my belly pushing into it making it hard to steer, my seat belt fit without my having to tuck it under my belly, I can walk up the 3 steps to my house and not be out of breath. Each of those little things has added up to be a major victory, I celebrate each one of those every day tasks.
Today, despite my deep depression, I went and visited with a friend. It was a great visit, and when I got back home I went to work in the yard for a bit. Afterwords, I decided to take advantage of this great weather and take Katrina to pick up Lil` 3B from the 2-3k. The ride there was easy, it had a big hill which I made it up, even if I was going really slow. The way back was another story altogether.
First I will back track, this morning I didn’t even finish my coffee and barely had time to eat part of my breakfast(I got half a banana and a yogurt down). For a light snack I had the most wonderful avocado, it left me in heaven! Now, biking does have one thing in common with cars in that you need to fuel the engine. I did not fuel mine properly today so on the return trip, about half way up a hill I felt my energy drain all the way down to my toes! I barely made it up that hill, and home again, in fact I still feel drained. It also didn’t help that I had a 25# toddler in the trailer behind me, gravity is such a B!t6h sometimes. It was a great adventure though, and my son loved it so I suspect those hills and I will be getting very friendly over the next year.
Extra Note: If you are someone you know is thinking about suicide, please contact the national Suicide Prevention group http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ they won’t judge and will help you through those dark times.
I must say, I am getting annoyed with this rain! While yes, it is better than snow, it is not by much. I was enjoyinh being out on my bike the last week, and am feeling cooped up! Katrina needed some repairs, I thought it was truing the wheels, but the main issue was the breaks were misaligned. So for $12 it was fixed at my LBS, and I went on my merry way. However, when I got home I found a new issue, on the front break on of the levers was sticking. I spent about an hour trying to figure it out myself to no avail, so before taking it back to the LBS I went to the library. I found a great book that showed me exactly what to do, and a few turns of a screw later I had it all fixed. I also found out that I was ripped off by the LBS, it takes about 2 minuets to do the adjustment he did. So if I did the math right I paid $360 an hour for that repair.
I was going to do a big ride on sunday but the weather is looking crappy still(rain ALL week, with a possible snow tonight). So on the 26th I am going to
attempt DO it. I have to have faith in myself, and I know I will succeed.
On a separate note, my friend Malisa Phillips of Texas has type 1 diabetes. It is so bad she has to constantly monitor her blood sugar at all times, even still having issues with that. Her husband is in the military and is about to be redeployed, leaving her and her kids alone. Right now she is trying to buy a diabetic alert dog, which can actually detect blood sugar levels BEFORE conventional methods can. Do to the limited income of the military, she needs our help to afford this! If you have even a dollar to spare, please consider helping her out.
Here is the link, please share with everyone you know!
Thank you for reading this far, I appreciate it.
Had a great ride today, went out to an actual bike trail that was about 4.5 miles round trip. Average speed around 11 and top speed I think was about 23mph! Was fun, and it was a great workout. It is so nice to see my speeds picking up, as well as my endurance. I did though have to stop on the first hill…I forgot to reconnect my front breaks! Luckily I don’t use them much but still thought it would be good to fix them.
Today, was awesome and enjoying my sunburned face as it means I was OUT IN THE SUN.
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Today was a fun day, it started with grocery shopping with a 2 year old who would have preferred not to be there. Afterwords, Iunch didn’t go well, he didn’t like the food(except the berries). So I had decided since the weather was amazing(60!) I would instal my bike computer my folks got me for christmass. First off, would it have been so bad to add some text besides just pictures??? Second, it works great and so glad I put it on!.
So I asked on facebook who would like to go biking with me, and my one sister sorta wanted to go, though ended up not picking up her phone. My 8 year old neice cals me and says she wantst to go. I will be honest 100%, I figured we would make it about 1 mile and she would be done. We made it to the closest local park(about a mile), and she said where are we going? I said oh, you want to keep going ok lets go to the next park. When we get to there she still wants to keep going, so we head to Mound View Park( http://wp.me/p2jfwI-1t ). She made it there with 1. not whining 2. with not walking and 3. ready for more!
At this point I am floored, I am so proud of her since her bike is just a kids fixie(not able to switch gears). So we go around the park(about .5) and she notices we are not far from my folks place. It has some big hills that last year totally kicked my butt( http://wp.me/p2jfwI-1A )! So I told her lets go down this big hill first and see how you do before we decide. So we go down it and up the other side and heading out to the country side for a bit. We turn around and hit the big hill, she nails it(only walking for a very bit towards the end). So I ask her if she is SURE she wants to go, because if we start we aren’t turning back. YUP! So we head out and man she was a trooper, again only walked a tiny bit at the end. We stayed a few minutes and headed back. All said and done she did over 10 miles! I did about 9.2, which is my new personal best. Both of us were still wanting to do more and had time not been a restraint I think we would have gone further(yay not being tired out!).
Normally I don’t post twice in one day but today is different.
So today I finally decided to clean out the garage and move the car out for the year. I have been wanting to do this for awhile, as it signals the start of spring for me. It went great and I love having my bike area for Katrina. I also decided to FINALLY set up my Burly(bike trailer for kids to ride in), that I got last year. Thanks to the joys of youtube I had no problems figuring it out, and took it out for a quick test run. I thought it would be weird to ride with it, but didn’t even notice it was there(although it was empty).
So during this time lil BBB is napping, I finish up head inside and sit down for a few minuets…he wakes up. I deicded since we had everything all setup outside for him he should go play outside. I brought him his helmet(which he LOATHES), when he sees it I brace myself for the screams of “NO HELMET! NO HELMET! DADA NOOOOO!”. “BIKE! AARON BIKE!” WTF!?!? So after story time and some adjustments we have him all set to go. I don’t know why he associates his helmet with a bike as I have never taken him on a bike in his life. After playing with his Thomas Scooter(Thanks Uncle Kevin), and riding his Harley Davidson powerwheel($30 yard sale find), I bring out Katrina and “saddle her up” to the “wagon”. Lil BBB can not wait and starts climbing right on into it. Get him settled/strapped in and take him for a little loop of about .25. I can hear him giggle a little as we go over some bumps. We arrive back at the house and as I am pulling into the drive I hear “AGAIN!” so off we go…wash, rinse, repeat! We did about 4-5 loops lol and he still wanted more! It was getting late and time to start dinner soon though so Katrina went back to her stable. Meanwhile, some Mormons show up and want to talk. Mrs. BBB takes lil BBB into the house while the gentlemen and I have a discussion about biblical type things(I did score a free book of Mormon).
I go back into the house, and the wife lets me know that he has been asking nonstop to go back on the bike(going to have me a riding buddy for sure!). So we deiced to go to the park while mama makes dinner, and he runs back to Katrina. On the ride to the park I had a perfect moment. One of those moments where times stands still, and nothing can ruin it. As I was going along, at a decent pace, not out of breath, I hear him giggling his brains out as we hit a bumpy spot. My heart melted, I just can’t describe the joy/love/peace that I felt at that moment. Someday when I am old and grey I will look back, remember that moment and cry with joy.
The park was fun, and we had a great day….today was a fairytale.
Click the link to see a quick video.
Just a quick update from last night, I did end up hitting my 100lbs mark by loosing 1.2 pounds. I find it funny that it wasn’t just 1 pound, but that I still got that .2 :). They gave me a new “weight” for my key ring, and a certificate even. Though they gave me the 50lbs one by mistake because they have to order the 100lbs(guess they don’t give to many of those out?). One thing that was extra fun yesterday was that the wife and I went for a Wog before the meeting. Normally we drop lil BBB off at my ‘rents and go and sit outside the meeting for a bit, however this time we went to a local park and walked/jogged about a mile before hand. It was great to see a real world application of my gym time, made it feel like all those hours in the gym mattered for something other then just wieght loss. Next time I will bring my running shoes for sure!
Pardon the fact I look like I just wrestled a Gazelle to the ground..
Long have I waited for your tender embrace, to feel the warmth that you bring to my soul! My very being yearns for you! When I see bitterness, the cold dark despairing soul of black outside my window, I remember fondly your budding beauty. Please, come back my love, come back and set my soul free, free to experience all that you are and all that you shall be.
In other news, last week I missed my #100 by .2 as many know. This week I don’t know what happened, but I feel a total lack of motivation to go to the gym. If my metal box of torture is to be believed I am looking at a gain is week. I think that a few factors are contributing to this weeks fail, one being I am getting sick of the gym. There is only so many things you can do at the gym, and I need something different. Winter is dragging on to long and I just want some nice weather, to be able to take Katrina out and not freeze my gears off. I also think I might have self sabotaged, being afraid of loosing this weight and not having my shield of fat to protect me from this world.
So, Mr. BBB, if you have a gain what happens next? Good question, I think it will be time to quit and regain all my weight. Wait, that’s not correct, I think it will be time to refocus and look at my priorities. Is this about numbers on a piece of paper? Is this about working out till you drop(almost passed out the other day after a work out)? Instead, is this about enjoying life and being healthy? Is it about playing with your son on the playground, and enjoying being a husband/father to my family. Questions I must decided for myself, and while the answer seems clear, my mind is not sure.
Growing up I think about all I missed out on, being afraid to go on rides because I thought I was to fat/big. Thinking that people hated me simply because of my weight, and so avoiding them whenever I could. It sucks that I let those things stop me from enjoying life, but its not to late, I am still here! My one big dream is to go hang gliding, the thought of soaring through the air with no engine like a bird thrills me(though I am deathly afraid of heights). When I get below 200lbs I plan to peruse this, and I can’t “weight” for it to happen.
PS if anyone knows Ellen I want to go on her show 🙂