Determination

Today was a day where I woke up feeling defeated.

Today was a day where I woke up feeling defeated. No energy, not even 2 cups of DeathWish coffee could wake me up! Despite this, I really wanted to get in a workout this morning, and the best time was after dropping my oldest off at pre-k. One of the most awesome things about my gym is the free daycare! I love the fact that it allows me to work out during the day time, and not having to wait till the kids go to bed. My youngest loves it so much, he practically runs the entire way once we get inside.

After getting him settled in I went to the locker room to get changed. While in the locker room I felt like I could lay down on the bench and sleep right there. I honestly wasn’t sure how I would make it through a workout, let alone off the damn bench. Yet, I managed to get dressed and found that the gym was happily dead. I picked a treadmill, with a buffer on each side because my heart rate monitor will get picked up by the machines next to me as well. While loading up my Couch to 5k app, I really wondered if I could actually get through the entire 30 mins. I had no get up and go, no energy to speak of, and I was pretty sure I would start walking and quit 5 min. into it. Ever felt this way? What did you do? Here’s how it went for me.

I did the warm up and realized this was crazy and quit. I went next door to the pizza place and ate an entire large pizza, with 4 full calorie sodas. Not really though, after the warm up I decided I would just walk the entire thing, but when the “ding, start running!” sounded, I found myself turning it up and running. When it finished I swore that I was going to walk the next one, because I am beat. “Ding, start running” and again I turned it up to run. This went on for awhile and each time I would finish running I would tell myself “next time we walk”. I was defeated but I refused to give up, I ended up running all of them and finished out the full 30 mins! I ended up earning a badge, and I must say it was highly appropriate.

Determination

Determination? Even though I swore I was quitting at every chance, when it came time to make a choice, I picked pushing through it. It wasn’t an easy choice, and I instantly regretted it as I gasped for air like a fish out of water. But the regret I would have felt by giving up would have been even worse. Remember, when the road gets rough up ahead, just take it one step at a time. When you do, you will find yourself getting through the rough patch before you know it! YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Keep on Rolling,

Big Boned Biker

Gym Bag

As I looked through my bag I made out a mental checklist
Diapers check

wipes Check

HRM Strap Check

Shirt Check

Pants Check

Water Check

Headphones Check

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I grabbed the bag and headed to drop my oldest off at school, but today was going to be different! Today I was meeting with a trainer. I arrived about 15 min early and brought my youngest into the daycare and went to change. The locker room is always a scary place for me, I hate the idea of changing in front of a bunch of other people. Even more so when I am the very fat guy and they are all body builders! I wear my workout shorts under my pants and find a corner to myself as best I can. Still, I feel like an outcast and like everyone is wondering what this guy is doing in their gym.

As I head out I ran into Jon, my trainer ,and we begin what would I was sure would be an hour of pure uncomfortableness. You see, I was very excited up until this moment, which changed when the realization of what I was doing hit me. I was about to deal with a person one on one who trains body builders and athletes. I get out of breath tying my shoes some days! He began with getting some basic background and I explained how I had lost heading towards 200# but had gained #100 back. His response is what made me realize that this wouldn’t be all bad. “but you didn’t gain it all back!”. I knew that I could work with him now, he wasn’t just going to judge me and blow me off.

I figured he would just run me through the machines real quick, right a few things down and then spend 30 min on a sales pitch on why I should hire him. Instead, he showed me the machines but the first things we used were free weights. This scared me! On a machine I could sorta hide how little I was lifting but with barbells and dumbbells etc, everyone could see how weak I really am. We started out with bench pressing, moved to dumbbells, and finally did head to a few machines. The only downside was that we only covered the upper body and didn’t have enough time to really show me a lower body workout. Oh well, I figured I could wing it.

After the workout we talked for a bit more, he explained how he likes people to track their food. I laughed a little and told him I track every bite, every meal, every day. He seemed excited about that, and we talked a bit more about how he would help me achieve my goals etc. Overall it was a great experience, and much better than I had expected. One big thing he told me though, and one that is I guess a common mistake, I have been doing to much cardio. If you do all your cardio now, then when you get to a point you stop loosing, you don’t have it to fall back on. Your body gets use to doing it and it becomes easier for it to do it (in other words burns less calories). Better is to work on strength a do cardio in short amounts on your non lifting days. It seemed so backwards from what I had always been told, that I actually checked with a few other people first and turns out he was correct. I am looking forward to signing up with him and hoping that this will give me the knowledge I have been lacking for strength training.

Fast forward to the last few workouts, I do my warm up, 15-30min cardio, and then I look at the weight lifting area with fear. I am still to scared to use the machines or free weights(right term?), because everyone will laugh at me. In fact, the will point and laugh, horns will grow out of their heads, and the entire world will turn into a grainy black and white! Look at this guy struggle to lift 15 pound weights! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So the first time I walked right by it and went to the locker room to leave. As I reached my locker I realized that I can’t let this fear rule me. I need to go out and do what I need to do! I go and start my workout, minus the bench presses(because they were being used). Turns out, no body laughed, no one had horns growing from their heads, and the world still stayed in color. I pushed past the fear and anxiety, feeling all the stronger for just doing that! I didn’t let other people become my excuse. The most important thing we bring with us to the gym is the willingness to push past our excuses!

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Keep On Rolling,
Big Boned Biker

Missed you guys..

How has everyone been doing? I have been ok, I tried starting a new blog only to realize that I missed having this one! So Big Boned Biker is back again, and I have some new things going on in my life to share.

First, for those that don’t know I suffer (hate this term) live with  Bipolar with OCD, and am finally getting my meds changed around. Night and day difference! What this means for me is that I am finally feeling good about myself again, and focusing on my weight. I have re-joined a gym,  getting a personal trainer, and am back on track with weight watchers! So far I have lost close to 30 pounds on the new weight watchers plan, and already planning some bike rides for this year!

For Christmas I got my oldest son a new bike! Presenting Green Bean Heat-bot Troll! It is a tag-along type bike and I think he will enjoy it more than the cramped trailer. It will also allow him to pull the trailer and we will have a really cool/long “bike train”. I might even have to find a train whistle to use!

PLEASE IGNORE THE MESS

Tag along, green bike, sons new bike

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I hope all is going well with those of you who read this, and I look forward to some more in-depth type posts soon.

Sincerely

Big Boned Biker

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